"Sitting here in Limbo...got some time to search my soul"
Sweet lyrics to sing, yet a heaviness covers me when I repeat the words so well known to many of my kin and kind...does anyone truly get the gravity of these words? I am sitting here at the very place I sing of, at that nexus between living my life as I always have, to follow the path that was carved by me for everyone, and to forge a new way, my way, a path unknown and "under-explored"...
I consider the first option, and I peer ahead and see the cracks and craters, the meandering as I navigate every freedom I would have by virtue of self acceptance for the happiness, comfort, acceptance of others...and I smile at the well worn road...this is me, this is who I am and have been, at the expense of advice of caring friends and to the exasperation of my spirit...
I then strain eyes to the other option, and espy a life tied only in so much as would have me happy...I see the pursuit of laughter, the abdication of weights of a past for which I do daily penance in my masochistic mental cycles, liberated from the acceptance of the forgiveness and love Ive been so wary of accepting. I see the accomplishments of one who has worked assiduously rewarded, I see the acceptance of such as being well gained from the inside, glowing with a pride which has its source internally, not reflecting the light of praise as shone on him. at the end of this road i see completion through loving myself into being well adjusted, to making the illusory cocksure Man into a fleshy truth,to making the Mirage a solid reality...
and you would think this choice easy...but old instinct dies hard, and many reflexes are difficult to unlearn...
what a choice...
"...sitting Here in Limbo...knowing that I have to go..."
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