I cant say it...

I sit here and I remember a fleeting quote I had come across...and cry as I remember why it is that I thought of it when I sat applying stage face for a show...

“You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you dies each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason."

-Ernest Hemingway

I attach a picture I had begun t think of as the artist at her most vulnerable yet her most ecstatic...when sharing her soul through her art

From Riverside to Mountain, From Canefield to the sea...

My Country, My Island, such beauty housing such evil and hatred...I wish we could all co-exist in love...

Words From Kahlil Gibran

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Another Random Quote ...

James Earl Jones :

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter."

Words of Wisdom from Kurt Vonnegut

Hilarious...A must try

Trolling, I came across this pic, and I just had to share it...

I will have it

I want it...

that freedom,

that reckless abandon...

leaping into the air with a careless grace, time slowing down as you ascend and descend in a rift, a warp that holds you in stasis, on wings of anachronistic bliss...

I want it and I will have it, I must...

Setting dance Goals...let's see

Dance is winding down, and even moreso because the season has passed...in the little "down time" granted, I want to work on myself, I have two goals with regard to jumps, and I hope I make them, or as close as physiologically possible :-) ...the Firebird leap and a proper and graceful Fourth position jump...these need mastering, as well as work on splits to have as best a Jete as possible...hmm, time to start organising...want to keep abreast?

A match is struck in a cave of tangible darkness?

why cant I stop myself smiling when u appear, the way my gloom becomes a little more bearable knowing that u're close, that buffeted or not i'll be ok...what does one do when one willfully steps outside of safe harbour? find out if one can brave the waves...

- the Glacially frigid expanses of loneliness

- tropical seas of welcome and acceptance

- lukewarm currents of unsurity

- trenches of terrifying depression

and the many navigable, and not yet navigable but for our route necessary areas in need of exploration...I NEED to know...

I NEED to be absolutely sure that I am here because I can appreciate, understand and accept being here, I NEED that happiness I feel with your company to not be the only time I sense that joy, I NEED to find joy in the vacuum of my own company...I NEED to know that I can find such joy, that I am not a louse who will cling uselessly and cloyingly, or worse, that I am incapable of feeling it without it being by proxy...because its one of my deepest fears...I explore these seas so rarely lately because I do not wish to give vindication to this fear...

I NEED to ensure all of this

that i'm in ship shape and oceanworthy

because

I want to be someone's safe harbour...and if you cast away that role forever, even if noone in future aweighs here...I need to know that it was not that I was of weak construction or that I proved unstable

I only Wish I always kept this in mind...

Ramblings past the witching hour...*insert unearthly cackle*

"Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night. ..."

Having those words greet me on my fb newsfeed seemed to be the icing on the cake of days of pathetic fallacy that I had been having since I set foot beyond the safe borders of my Room and dared venture beyond my house's parameters...

Ive always been something of a busybody- now don't get me wrong I enjoy my wind down time, and consider a good book, some Irish cream and chocolate bliss- and its how I function..the constant jump of nerves and crackle of firing neurons as I leap from one thing to another, reading between disciplines, balancing Dance, Music, an academic and a social life, (though markedly much less social, and truly even if given all the time in the world I doubt i'll be sociable enough to adequately have one of these) it is in this state of equilibrium when all shows outward signs of flux that I thrive...until and unless the precarious balance has shifted- which it has...and I face a burnout that will border on epic as far as previous such ones are concerned...sadly it cannot come at a more horrid time, the period when I need the heady rush, that inability to think as i let body, eyes, ears, voice take control, giving me the oblivion I need to keep my tenuous grip on my present...or I risk losing myself to all that would begin to hold court in my forebrain and slowly undermine the founds of my world...

I'm Tired of livin' i'm scared of Dyin' but ol' man river, he just keeps rolling...

If ever A song has captured the nihilistic and at odds feelings ive been wrestling with... I should be okay...I think...I was happy right? im sure I was...once, I must've been...yet it seems that my mind has been coloured by the black, absorbing all the light til there is little to illuminate my way forward- or back...just here...afraid of going forward, Unable and a little unwilling to regress...

A word from the wise to be heeded by the same

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
~ Steve Jobs

Ballerina Project Stills with my Favourite element, part Deux :-)

Here, I again post some pics from the New York Ballerina Project, with my favourite dancers: Sara, Zarina, and Alison... and again my favourite element, Water...enjoy!

A sweet Sentiment...

Nude art for Equality and AIDS awareness...Beautiful while encouraging thought

CDT's Rose Hall - Jamaica's first full length Modern Ballet- Remounted- Concert Season 2011

I was in the chorus of this grand undertaking, and am infinitely grateful...my first time in a ballet chorus...a ballet overall!...loving my artistic Journey!