Secular steps to a Sacred beat? ...Part 1

earlier this year, and as has become habit, with phone at the ready, I stumbled across a halted funeral procession...Loathe as I am to stop where the un-tuned dare to congregate in 'joyful noise' to the memory of someone that either died as he had lived, or was unfortunate enough to die because of where he lived, I felt drawn to the top of my street to behold the what one could loosely call pageantry...well the masses were gathered for a show and it was exactly what they were given, as dancers and instrumentalists put on a spectacle for their awed crowd...I was initially fascinated by the effect that such a thing had on them....but was eventually led to consider what the motives were for this grand show...does on watch for the artistic endeavour? or just stare because one's home is simply much less tolerable by comparison?

to be continued.....

He Lifted me ...part 1

the sweet sounds of in my mind Jamaica's foremost cultural group, the Jamaican Folk Singers in performance of Dr Lewin's arrangement of He Lifted Me, with a very rare occurrence, the Dr herself raising her voice in song with the group. this was witnessed at the thanksgiving service of renowned J'can Soprano, Mrs Beverly Dexter, who left this realm earlier this year...more to be spoken on this entry...

5 minutes into the Morrow's contemplation

“…but your addiction to unhappiness is such a strong potent thing that you refuse to give it up even when happiness comes your way - you just have to go out and find something to be depressed and sad an utterly unhappy about even if you don't have to”

These words, coming from an exasperated friend some time ago in a heated argument, still ring in my ears with the clarity of a bell, sonorous and with great peals of warning each time I revisit an old habit – I say “old habit” because I would like to believe I’ve cast off this aspect of me since this “intervention”…But I reflect on this while in repose, and the same questions arise:

“Why am I upset/ depressed when I should be elated?”

The same answer greets me all the while. I wait for the rug to be ripped from under me…the notion of “too good to be true” is such an ingrained precept in most of what I do that often it is both balm and bane to my existence (hmm, did I say is? I mean ‘was’ =) and I must concede this…why is it too good to be true? What on earth is there that should make me feel unworthy of possessing that feeling of joy, of contentment with self and at endeavour?

…and yet…who says I do? By what right am I worthy to claim any earthly thing as mine? Can one truly come into this plane of existence and say “this is my right”? The universe should not be some great property to be owned, we came and saw it, and I suspect (as it has been) that it will outlive us…so this is the internal struggle, after all my hard toil, to claim anything that was gleaned from an unresponsive realm (though I do believe it speaks to us…yup there goes my sanity) seems like stealing even despite “earning”…doesn’t it? Or am I regressing…..