I am heading home
home
so many feelings ring out of me as I ponder it, but not light things stay.
laughs fly by, anger gingerly sidesteps direct confrontation. But. But. But.
there is this heaviness
this weight
that settles in the pit of my stomach and makes me feel like i stare into an abyss from which there is no reclamation of self, no reprieve, no cure.
I can't see the happy inherent
I can't see the sunshine implicit
I can't feel the light
I am in a unique self perpetuating hell that I can't help hurtling toward
and I do not want to help it.
and I do not have any way to escape it
but I do not want to escape it
I wish I could...
How I wish i could,
but you can't follow me
so I make a pillow fort by the stygian depths
and as you replenish yourself from the Lethe,
while my other companion lies half alive, but fully awake - in a cycle I am just as impotent to break
I sing lullabies to sanity
and steadfastly look away,
urging Hades to grant me the mercy of the deal he struck with Orpheus
but lacking the talent that would make such a deal worth his consideration.
we three blindly sit.
Cerberus, eat your heart out
