The Sharing and Navigating of our "Personal Darknesses"

Today's emotion cannot be processed, user is tired and quite annoyed with the world at the moment, but will explore their feelings...Eventually

       A friend of mine was sharing some difficulty they faced going through a bad breakup...the hardest part for them was not simply that they weren't over the person...it was the spaces that they shared with them...he referred to his personal space as his darkness...heartbroken, he says he now has no peace because he made "my" (his) darkness "our" (their) darkness...and it got me thinking (of course, AFTER we talked and he was comforted while we ate and laughed) of personal space and our own each of us "Darkness", the forms they take and the effect they have on us...as well as the gravity of what happens when we share these things.
     I can relate and I am sure we all can, with the reality of each of us having personal "darkness", whether it take the form of a place, activity, object or an amalgam or several of the former; it is this "thing/group of things" which "centres" us, makes us able to survive the world, to face the madness around us with relative calm and bravery. For me the primary one of my seemingly numerous is the solace of reading alone at home, for you doubtless it will be otherwise. I now imagine how much it takes many of us to share this personal space with someone...here I do not mean "tell" someone about it, though it my take that form as well...but to have them engage in it with you or even be present while you enact this process (be it so) . this is tantamount to letting them have an unfettered view of your essence, often see directly into your soul (hmm, feels like over-romanticism? maybe, maybe not), and this delicate moment is one that can make you or infinitely break you (and to the rare few, it will not phase you, and in that instance, was it really ever that important to you?)...now imagine that person/those persons disregarding the gravity of being "let in" or even worse know the importance and ignore it in a fit of neglect, anger, antipathy or just.plain.stupid.? if you're like me or my friend, your response is unease or despair, a gloominess or heaviness fills you at the thought of the activity/thing now, often so much so that it makes you avoid it altogether. others however, lash out, they make the person (or often everyone-the rest of the world) pay for this crime, this invasion and infringement...I warn us all to not take the communion of  private worlds lightly; yes we are human and there will be times we "mess up" but we should as much as possible be vigilant, because we never know when in our moments of humanity we may damage a soul beyond recognition and often beyond repair

Ah, to be nude...a mid morning tangent

You're lazing in bed, reading a novel and sipping your favourite "lazy day" drink, and music permeates the air of your cosy room. A beautiful moment is truly made in this tableau, right? Suddenly a knock or a beckon made to permit entry is made, and you scramble in the opposite direction, a quick dash to the closet for a robe or some clothing to hide your state of nudity; all the while cursing the intruder upon your bliss. the eventual moment comes where they've been admitted, only for you to discover you got dressed for some banal and irritating situation in which you often cannot even be of use to them... I would hope this scenario doesn't only plague me in its occurrence...

I enjoy the freedom of nudity, in my private moments I tend to strip right down and relish the feel of being clothed in air, caressed by the veiled rays of the sun or beams of the moon through my curtains. I like this wondrous alone time when I remove all the roles each piece of garment thrusts upon my psyche (yes, I believe clothes have "energies" and this energy makes us don a certain trait when we wear certain items of clothing), and I am just me, the reserved shy quiet guy, reading in his own little corner of the world.

at odds with my love of being unfettered is my enormous level of self-consciousness- I am not at all an exhibitionist, and I studiously avoid all mirrors when in my state of undress...this is not to say my body is the worst there is (in fact I think of myself as having an average body type), but I just don't often look at myself naked; I don't think I even went through the period of fascination with self that most guys my age seem to pass through *pauses while I blush scarlet having realised I said all this*... yea, I just don't find nakedness that much of an issue (here I laugh riotously wondering what puns would have come if I had used "no big deal" instead lol)...in a way I guess this outlook also extends to sexual existence. often I will see someone walking by in almost nothing, looking the total Spartan or the ideal Amazonian and I am not in any way moved by their display, as a friend of mine would say "...[not] even a twitch from my brainless head" conversely, I could be making the acquaintance of a plain, decently clothed well spoken individual and I am "at-tent-ive" (see what I just did there?) for the duration of our discourse and enthralled for some time after: it is in those times I wonder if it is that the "Sexualisation" (rae, i'm coining big words) of the society has turned me off from blatant sexuality so completely as to inspire my utter apathy ....but I could just be weird that way...wired differently...who knows?