Wake me up Lord...when its over

The spiritual, as arranged by Uzee Brown Jr came to mind as I sat at my desk this morning, fatigued from my weekend of concerts with my dance company.

Yea, sorta like this, but discreetly

"The hurly-burly's done, the battle's lost and won..."and what has been gained?
I don't feel the euphoria I thought I would...I just...don't...
My dance season has just ended, and while the shows were awesomely received, and though the costumes were brilliant, choreography loved, dancers lauded...it felt empty
It felt like I was asking myself "is this it?"
what have I learnt about myself this year that I can take from this season? the lengthy rehearsals, fraught nerves, confrontations? I sat this morning at my desk, unable to pass through the day's to do list without going back to and being stuck on this thought cycle...what have I observed? learned? here's what came to mind

-Life is unfair.
-You are not superhuman, you will be injured. it will hurt. REST
-Your integrity is not an external thing, it is YOU. Honour yourself
-People hurt you. People don't always mean to. let it go
-Meditation is active. Practice
-Noone should be able to make you un-love yourself, your abilities, your art.
-It is hard. But you will always be tougher.
-Do not burn yourself out. People who love your presence and don't miss your absence are people who find you replaceable. be prepared for removal at any point
-Never fear loving something, someone, somewhere...be un-ironically Enthusiastic; Love DEEPLY
-Celebrate successes, defeats are easy to sink beneath.
-Loving someone does not excuse their humanity, be understanding

I live. I laugh. I love...and I share