Miserere....

I've discovered that as these past days have come and gone, I laugh less and less...my companion at nights isn't the tired yet sated "end of day" feeling...rather it is an anxious restlessness, an acute frustration and angst...and it attacks right at my core in ways I cannot begin to understand let alone communicate. It seems every bit of headway I make is lost and I am rolled right back to the bottom of the hill to start all over again...Its a broken feeling...like my spirit is slowly dying, and I am going through the motions of a life I have ordered to be on autopilot by sheer volume of activity...I press on...with all that makes my dark cloud hang that much lower...