Sitting here and Musing...

I sit and look on, as through the one way mirror afforded me by social network media you ripped away at the self that you had created of me...years of an image of pristine ideals and a childlike innocence, despite my pleading that these be stripped from the caricature; which is only reasonable after all, as they especially to me are in no way truly the torn battered soul who continually stands before you, as a leper would dare cross the threshold of royalty... you refused me the mercy of seeing me as i saw myself, and let me see the light you saw in me...a light I have since lost sight of in the short passing of 3 moon phases...and now in this a seeming unending abysmal eclipse, I am comforted- or was, as it seems, like so much in this world, an illusory facade- by the thought you were doing better than even my walls had, which surround my internal conflict like a dam ardently holding back an unending mighty Torrent of water, existent to ensure those who would express worry would be allayed to think naught amiss with me... but even that was more of my Naivete...nevertheless, I plough on

a time to vent...

As I lay here in some contemplation on the nihilism and faithlessness which had come to overshadow and consume the existence I had painstakingly carved out for myself,I take a few moments in the dark stillness of my temporary solace; the inner sanctum of my room, to silently scream my displeasure at the heavens...not uncommon in my silent tirade was the phrase "why me?" frustratingly, the very question which constantly went and goes unanswered

As I observe my hands...all for best yet missing you

It is as I sit and look at my fingers...clean and evenly groomed, nails cut by my own hand, that I feel the aching crushing cascade yet again threaten to break the steel curtains of my facade...but then the moment is stifled before it can bloom, and missing you, if in that instant, is forcibly shelved...constant companion with the misery of a lot of my self that may be lost...

Generations progress...or do we?

Another day...yet another reason to further be disillusioned...safety really isn't as much of a "unspoken right" anymore...and this is really sad

A quick point of wisdom from Boondocks

"Your Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self; Therefore trust the physician within and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility."

~K. Gibran

(as quoted in Boondocks, Season 1 Episode 13)

Madness with a curse word and liquor...awesomeness

"Every man is a fool for at least five minutes of every day, wisdom is not going past that." R.W. Emerson... well what better way to celebrate the man's insight with a clip of one of my own five minutes of insanity, as so many are, shared with my nighttime partner in idleness, my lil sis

Aww Babies!

Precocious beings, Gotta love em...here's me having a chat with my Baby Cousin Paige